Laying low

Some things are meant to be and some just are not. I think we all struggle with discerning the difference from time to time. I've decided to not worry that far ahead. Spending time, hanging out, expecting nothing has been quite pleasant. 3 weeks of it has actually gotten me alot further ahead than a year and a half of worrying did.

Kids and ex's and life in general has taken a back seat to fun and relaxation.

Yeah I know.....you've heard it all before. A million times. Maybe even more than a million times but here I go again. I can't help how I feel. About him. And how I feel when we are together. He makes me laugh and he just has a way of making me feel like it's ok. I know he can take it all away just as much as he gives it but I'm just enjoying the moment and not going to be on edge about it.

I made an impact quite without realizing it. With the help of US cellular it appeared to him that I was not returning his calls. When it had been 4 weeks without any contact he assumed I was done. Done with the load of BS I had been putting up. He knew it was a nightmare for me but was too caught up in his own feelings to care about mine. When he tried to call and I didn't answer or return his call (bad cell signals) he started to realize that I meant something to him. He started thinking about me and all that we had and all that he had given up. He started remembering the good times and the plans. He missed me. Immensely. When I sent him a silly text (because I was missing him so bad) he responded immediately. So glad and greatful for a chance.

I have been guarded and he has been enthusiastic. He has gone out of his way. Spent time at my house. Even with dogs that he so despises. He has been nurturing, affectionate, funny. Hanging with my family even though he was nervous about the first meeting with them all. He has been attentive and loving. Very much his old self. Very much the guy I met and fell in love with. We have talked about the last year and how things in his life have taken such a nose dive. We have talked about our kids and how their choices have impacted us. We have talked. But mostly we have just enjoyed being together.

I am so glad to have him back. The real him. I am trying to not be jaded but I am well aware of the past year. He is too and has worked very hard to show me how he feels and that I am worth so much to him.

Staying positive but realistic