Ya just never know

I learned of another death this morning. Totally unexpected. The guy was only about 56-57ish. Somewhere in that range. I have no details just that he was found dead. It wasn't a suicide. I'm assuming a heart attack or stroke. Fuckabuncha death. His mom just passed a month ago at 80 something. While sad, that was to be expected. Not 50's. Not when life is in full swing. Traveling, enjoying grand children, enjoying a little financial freedom, enjoying less responsibility. He had done his time and should be on smooth sailing mode. Now he is gone and his wife of a gazillion years has to figure out where she fits in this big bad world without him. His son and best friend is left helping mom pick up the pieces. Fuck death. My mind has been filled with it lately. Worried about dying too soon. Worried about dying too late. Worried about losing those around me. Worried that I'm not prepared. To die or to lose. Worried that I'm wasting time. But not sure how to stop wasting time. Realizing that no matter what, none of us gets out of it alive.

It's not all gloom and doom. Today we are being told what our bonus will be. Can you believe that in this crazy economy I got a promotion and now a bonus?? I know on some level, on most levels I'm living right. I also know how fortunuate I am. To have a job,to still have my house, to have my kids, to still have both my parents, to still have my grandmother and to be self sufficient.

Here's to living another day and appreciating it.