Good Riddance

For the first time in my life I got mad and shot back.

I have always stood there, eyes on the ground, shoulders rounded into myself and just accepted the battering. I've taken the verbal abuse and always responded with words that showed I accepted it.

Well no more. I do get mad. I do get hurt. I do get angry. I do get disappointed. I am tired of looking past the words and making excuses for them. I am tired of taking the blame.

I AM to blame for alot of things. The most prevalent thing is not always being honest when there is a bad message to be delivered. I've always worried about hurting people's feelings so I sugar-coat things. I try to finagle a way around the unpleasantness. There have been times when I simply should have just cut to the chase.

I AM to blame for being unsure and not wanting to make a decision if it's a difficult negative one. It took me 5 years to get out of my marriage because I would start to think that maybe it wasn't so bad. Maybe I was over reacting. Well it WAS bad. It can't be said that I didn't try. It could be said that I tried for too long.

There comes a time when goodbye is the only answer. There comes a time when maybe you don't have the answers you want but at least you have answers. There comes a time when you must cut your losses.

That time is now. My time has come. It IS ALL ABOUT ME and I don't have to stay in a miserable situation or put up with BS. But I don't have to be a bitch about it either. I am simply walking away. No immature name calling. No shouting out in anger things that aren't true or aren't my true feelings. No saying things that I don't really mean just to hurt someone. No making personal attacks on a person or someone that they love just to get even.

Just a simple walk. In the opposite direction. And a deep breath...of relief.