We did it our way

Everyone has their own way of handling life's tragedies. We chose to talk. And hang out. And draw comfort from. We drove each other nutz but going from 100 mph to 0 just wasn't cutting it for us. We found a nice friendship. We found out hatred makes you old and gray, it crinkles your face and I didn't want a pinched face. We had agreed early on that it was temporary. Only long enough to get us through the worst of it. No looking or turning back. No expectations. Just beating the lonelies and boredom. Just getting over the huge cavern of loss. I don't regret a single minute. I'm glad we can walk away not hating. Is the hurt gone and forgotten? No, probably never will be but we are in a much better place.

Funny, this was a between him and I, yet other people have only focused on their needs and how this effects them. I'm not saying there isn't a ripple effect but the ripples need to remember the rock that was tossed into the pond. The ripple needs to let the rock make it's way in the pond. The rock was floating away on his own and is better for it.

He said good bye today. For good this time. I think he was nearly there on his own but now it's not his choice. I hope this doesn't change his progress. I told him I wouldn't hold him hostage. He's free to go any time. I know from experience that going on your own terms is better, more final. When there is resolution there is peace. That's what I wish him. That's what I wish for myself.