Cassee- thank you so much for the links. They really have offered alot of insight and have given me some pause in my thinking.
I must admit it has been a stressful couple of weeks. I'm pretty sure my own timidness at trying to avoid a confrontation and trying to avoid sounding like I want to control everything has definitely magnified things. Our relationship is suffering for it. I must initiate a conversation tonight. I have to or I may as well give up and move back to my house. If this relationship is to be saved it has to start with a conversation. Avoiding and walking on eggshells is not what I want and I don't think he is happy either.
I admit that I have been disappointed with the excuses and lack of disciplining but....I have to take a step back. Even though the goings on in our home is my business it's not my responsibility. I have to loosen my grip on perfection. My life wasn't perfect before we met, his was far from it and to expect things to be miraculously perfect is absurd. My expectations of him as a parent have got to be more relaxed. Everyone does things different and even though I wholeheartedly believe in my way, I can see that it is not the right way for others.
I'm going insane. I just want things to be like they used to be. I want to be loved and be in love and protected and protecting. I want the intimacy back. I need it back. I need to be touched and held and talked to. I need to feel like I matter. Like my opinion matters (even if not agreed with). I need to feel of value. I NEED so much. I HATE FEELING NEEDY. I'm trying so hard to not come across as being needy but the truth is I am needy right now. But he has his own things going on with the kids. It's killing me that I'm no comfort and actually more of a burden. It's hurting me so badly.
Please let me be able to say the right things. Please let me be able to convey how very much I love him. Please let me find the right words. Please.
4 comments:
the most important part of discussions like the one you are going to have is to take the time to breathe deeply and think before you speak each line. Seems to me you are already planning on doing that. Nothing can ever be unsaid. Kids eventually go their own way, your partner is forever.
Good luck boo girl, hold onto the love.
conversation is so important
communication is key
each brick of resentment seems easily put into place, not so easily removed
(((u)))
speak your truth from your heart
speak it with love
and i know you'll be fine
I echo all of the above :) It'll be fine sweetie. Communication is it! The words will come :)
(((U)))
I hope everything went okay! and your welcome!!!
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